Very immersive
Space zombies and cool weapons
Redundant battles.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Beowulf
First Try: 5 seconds.
Second: 30 minutes.
There was no third try.
This movie sucks. Too bad. Seemed to me that they had the right ingredients in place: good voice actors (Connery, Malcovich), cool story to play with. But in the end, the expressionless computer animated mugs of the “actors” overshadowed the entire film. For the first 30 minutes, anyhow. Rumor has it that Angelina gets cyber-naked, but even that carrot couldn’t keep me into the film. Watch at your own risk.
Second: 30 minutes.
There was no third try.
This movie sucks. Too bad. Seemed to me that they had the right ingredients in place: good voice actors (Connery, Malcovich), cool story to play with. But in the end, the expressionless computer animated mugs of the “actors” overshadowed the entire film. For the first 30 minutes, anyhow. Rumor has it that Angelina gets cyber-naked, but even that carrot couldn’t keep me into the film. Watch at your own risk.
Saw IV
Truly scary film.
The gore? Nope. The bad acting.
They made a Saw V?
Okay, now you guys are just getting lazy. It’s one thing to prey on people’s inherent desire to see some crazy torture (hey, it’s the same reason people slow down at car crashes in hopes of catching a glimpse of a dismembered limb), but it’s another to weave a porous plot and horrible acting around a bunch of traps that are unimaginative, to say the least. I knew it would be bad. It averages 2 stars on Netflix. And everything gets at least three stars on Netflix, since your vote counts just as much as the inbred in Appalachia who thinks Larry the Cable Guy is the funniest thing since straight teeth came along.
I digress. You shouldn’t watch it. It’s bad. But, you will because, like me, you want to see some weird elaborate contraption tear someone’s legs off. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
The gore? Nope. The bad acting.
They made a Saw V?
Okay, now you guys are just getting lazy. It’s one thing to prey on people’s inherent desire to see some crazy torture (hey, it’s the same reason people slow down at car crashes in hopes of catching a glimpse of a dismembered limb), but it’s another to weave a porous plot and horrible acting around a bunch of traps that are unimaginative, to say the least. I knew it would be bad. It averages 2 stars on Netflix. And everything gets at least three stars on Netflix, since your vote counts just as much as the inbred in Appalachia who thinks Larry the Cable Guy is the funniest thing since straight teeth came along.
I digress. You shouldn’t watch it. It’s bad. But, you will because, like me, you want to see some weird elaborate contraption tear someone’s legs off. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Call of Duty: World at War
New game, old engine
Modern Warfare was better.
Cut scenes, for the win.
I’m a sucker for World War II. Whether it’s the storming of the beaches in Normandy, the dogfights in the Pacific theater or the desert armor maneuvering in Northern Africa, I can’t get me enough of some WWII love. So it goes without saying that I loved the first 3 Call of Duty games: I got to storm beaches and fight my through the Battle of the Bulge, all without having to travel back in time and dodge all that pesky shrapnel.
But then COD4: Modern Warfare came out. And things haven’t quite been the same since. It was a refreshing twist to a tired genre. New weapons, new story lines (as much as I love WWII, it always ends the same: the Nazis, Italians, and Japanese lose) and new gameplay bits, like calling in air strikes made the game a must have for any first person shooter fan. The multiplayer was just as fun.
And now here’s COD5: World at War. It has the same engine, so it should be just as fun, right? Yes, and no. The engine’s awesome, so the core game play is solid. But no matter how many weapons you get to play with or tanks you get to drive, it still feels like Modern Warfare dressed up as a WWII soldier for Halloween.
What really stood out to me, however, were the cut scenes between missions. They’re simply beautiful, mixing a contemporary feel with a familiar propoganda poster design, and weaving in authentic war footage from the appropriate fronts. I’ve seen a lot of WWII footage, and was pleasantly surprised to see some new clips in World at War.
Play it? Sure. Buy it? I wouldn’t.
Modern Warfare was better.
Cut scenes, for the win.
I’m a sucker for World War II. Whether it’s the storming of the beaches in Normandy, the dogfights in the Pacific theater or the desert armor maneuvering in Northern Africa, I can’t get me enough of some WWII love. So it goes without saying that I loved the first 3 Call of Duty games: I got to storm beaches and fight my through the Battle of the Bulge, all without having to travel back in time and dodge all that pesky shrapnel.
But then COD4: Modern Warfare came out. And things haven’t quite been the same since. It was a refreshing twist to a tired genre. New weapons, new story lines (as much as I love WWII, it always ends the same: the Nazis, Italians, and Japanese lose) and new gameplay bits, like calling in air strikes made the game a must have for any first person shooter fan. The multiplayer was just as fun.
And now here’s COD5: World at War. It has the same engine, so it should be just as fun, right? Yes, and no. The engine’s awesome, so the core game play is solid. But no matter how many weapons you get to play with or tanks you get to drive, it still feels like Modern Warfare dressed up as a WWII soldier for Halloween.
What really stood out to me, however, were the cut scenes between missions. They’re simply beautiful, mixing a contemporary feel with a familiar propoganda poster design, and weaving in authentic war footage from the appropriate fronts. I’ve seen a lot of WWII footage, and was pleasantly surprised to see some new clips in World at War.
Play it? Sure. Buy it? I wouldn’t.
A Spot of Bother
Poor dear old dad, George
His dysfunctional family
Is very funny.
From the man who brought you Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime comes this hilarious novel about the trials and tribulations of one very troubled family. /end movie trailer intro.
Get this book. Very cynical, very funny, and beautifully written. The author’s prose and original metaphors are refreshing and had me laughing out loud on multiple occasions. Buy it. Read it. Love it.
His dysfunctional family
Is very funny.
From the man who brought you Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime comes this hilarious novel about the trials and tribulations of one very troubled family. /end movie trailer intro.
Get this book. Very cynical, very funny, and beautifully written. The author’s prose and original metaphors are refreshing and had me laughing out loud on multiple occasions. Buy it. Read it. Love it.
Battlestar Galactica
We made the Cylons
You’d think they’d be more grateful.
You’d be very wrong.
Unlike World War II, I’m not a huge sci-fi fan. More accurately, I’m not a huge sci-fi TV show fan. Star Trek never really did it for me (though the Next Generation had its moments). It might have something to do with special effects, or the lack thereof; TV just doesn’t compare to the insane film budgets.
But the special effects aren’t what makes Battlestar a great show. It’s a great story with multiple arcs that keep perspectives fresh and each episode gives each character more depth. The only thing that’s a bit lacking is the acting. For the most part, the acting is really good, but there are those moments where you cringe at a line’s delivery, and you’re reminded that you are indeed watching a TV show. Oh yeah, make sure you watch the mini series first. It’s still rough around the edges, but it gives you some background info that you’d otherwise have to piece together from bits of dialogue.
The best part about the show is that you don’t have to be a huge scifi geek to enjoy it. There are no green aliens or phasers or teleporters. In fact, even though the story takes place in the future, there are many subtle suggestions that maybe it’s not that far into the future after all: pencils and paper are still used, as are headsets that still have wires dangling from them. And yet, it all takes place on a spaceship able to jump into hyperdrive. It sounds odd, but it works to great effect for me; I like how these familiar moments make the whole story a little easier to relate to.
And then there are the Cylons, a “race” of (super hot, scantily-clad) cyborgs that have gone all Ahnold and become aware and are determined to wipe their makers off the face of the planet. Sound familiar? If you’ve seen Blade Runner and the aforementioned Terminator, I’m sure it does. Does that make it bad? Far from it. Imitation is the greatest form of flattery, after all, and Battlestar does a wonderful job of honoring its predecessors and upping the ante with storyline tweaks to keep things feeling original.
Do I like it? Frak yeah, I like it. Stay tuned for the Season 2 review.
You’d think they’d be more grateful.
You’d be very wrong.
Unlike World War II, I’m not a huge sci-fi fan. More accurately, I’m not a huge sci-fi TV show fan. Star Trek never really did it for me (though the Next Generation had its moments). It might have something to do with special effects, or the lack thereof; TV just doesn’t compare to the insane film budgets.
But the special effects aren’t what makes Battlestar a great show. It’s a great story with multiple arcs that keep perspectives fresh and each episode gives each character more depth. The only thing that’s a bit lacking is the acting. For the most part, the acting is really good, but there are those moments where you cringe at a line’s delivery, and you’re reminded that you are indeed watching a TV show. Oh yeah, make sure you watch the mini series first. It’s still rough around the edges, but it gives you some background info that you’d otherwise have to piece together from bits of dialogue.
The best part about the show is that you don’t have to be a huge scifi geek to enjoy it. There are no green aliens or phasers or teleporters. In fact, even though the story takes place in the future, there are many subtle suggestions that maybe it’s not that far into the future after all: pencils and paper are still used, as are headsets that still have wires dangling from them. And yet, it all takes place on a spaceship able to jump into hyperdrive. It sounds odd, but it works to great effect for me; I like how these familiar moments make the whole story a little easier to relate to.
And then there are the Cylons, a “race” of (super hot, scantily-clad) cyborgs that have gone all Ahnold and become aware and are determined to wipe their makers off the face of the planet. Sound familiar? If you’ve seen Blade Runner and the aforementioned Terminator, I’m sure it does. Does that make it bad? Far from it. Imitation is the greatest form of flattery, after all, and Battlestar does a wonderful job of honoring its predecessors and upping the ante with storyline tweaks to keep things feeling original.
Do I like it? Frak yeah, I like it. Stay tuned for the Season 2 review.
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